Sunday, January 3, 2010
Getting off point just for a moment but ladies tell me this does your man beg you to look at his shit masterpieces? I’m only asking because maybe it’s a normal thing for a man to do. I just know my ex-husband used to always try to pull me into the bathroom to look at his shit that was so enormous that it wrapped around the toilet bowl all the way to the top. Or he would plead with me to look at the shit so long it wouldn’t go down. It seemed like he took pride in his shits. I just thought that was gross. But keep in mind he also thought men’s farts were an aphrodisiac so I’m not surprised.
In Jan 1999 my ex-husband, kids and me left MD after visiting family and traveled across country to Phoenix, AZ. We decided to make a vacation out of it. We had two cars and the kids evenly split amongst me and my ex-husband. Can’t recall which town in Texas we were in but one night we spent the night at the La Quinta Inn. We woke up the next morning all excited because we were having fun and couldn’t wait to continue the journey on to Phoenix. The La Quinta was serving continental breakfast. We were all seated together enjoying our cereal, bagel or whatever. My ex-husband looked at me and I knew instantly what that look meant. He had to take a shit. Conveniently there was a lobby bathroom in the vicinity. In he strolled with his newspaper under his arm. A few minutes had passed and all of a sudden me and the kids smelled this horrible stench. My quick thinking knew exactly what the stench was and I ushered us out of the hotel and figured we would wait for the shit master in the cars.
About 7 more minutes had passed and he comes strolling out the La Quinta Inn with his newspaper still neatly folded under his arm walking like he was Denzel and his shit don’t stink. Of course by this time me and the kids are laughing at his nasty butt. We laughed even harder after he told us he cleared out the entire lobby. Which I might add was pretty full with guests sitting around enjoying their free continental breakfast. He said only one person was still there; this big, fat, white man who looked at him like he wanted to punch him in the face but refused to leave his cereal. He said the man was hugging his cereal close to his chest as if he was trying to keep the stench off it.
My ex-husband is the shittiest person I know. He also has the funkiest shit I ever smelled in my life. Imagine someone eating live sewer rats, and then pooping them out after they have partially decomposed in the stomach. That is my ex-husband funk. It’s out of this world.
I know exactly how that fat man felt I have wanted to punch him out on many days.
Ms. Angela's Stuff
Angie's signing off for now...feel free to read me again.
Angie's signing off for now...feel free to read me again.
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